Life after Prim
by TheSlytherinJaguar
Summary: Following Katniss' life after being the Mockingjay, when she is back living in District 12. It focuses on how she is dealing with life without Prim, and her life with Peeta.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Prim,_

_I see you everywhere. I smell your hair in the flowers that grow in the meadow. I see your wisdom in the eyes of the survivors. I see your innocence in the laughs of the children._

_I even see you when hunting. I picture your face of delight whenever I shoot something, and how your face would light up whenever I brought home food. I see you, but you're not there._

_Mum and I talk rarely now. It would break your heart to see us like this; but seeing each other reminds us both of you that it hurts. We used to try and talk on the phone regularly, but it pains us too much to try force conversation that was never really there. We are both still grieving, but I hope for your sakes that someday we can overcome the pain that is your loss and move on together._

_They've erected a new statue in the Capitol of Rue, as monument to those lost in the Games. I wouldn't have known if Peeta hadn't gone to visit Effie in the Capitol for her birthday. It used to cause a lot of fuss for Peeta and me to visit Effie despite the new relaxed rules. I guess all it took was one look into our war-torn eyes and the guards would let us through. The Capitol's moved on now. People don't look twice when they see me in the street, but some 'war veterans' as we call them give me a salute when I walk past. _

_The tears are falling thick and fast now. I managed to write for 4 minute without balling. That's a new record for me. _

_I love you forever Prim._

_Katniss_

Katniss folded the letter in half, tears still streaming down her face. She delicately wrote the word 'Prim' on the front, the ink becoming smudged from her tears. While she was walking out to the meadow, the tears stopped. She became aware of her senses again while walking through the wood. When she arrived at the lake, Katniss could think.

"I love you Prim" Katniss whispered, as she kissed the page. She set down the paper on the water and gently pushed it out, watching as it floated out into the water and slowly sank. Katniss did this weekly, with the letters varying in length, but they tended to be longer whenever she got nightmares or Peeta had an episode. She never kept any letters or let anyone read them. She didn't need to.

The whole house reminded her of Prim. Even with Peeta by her side now, she would frequently have to wipe away a tear that had appeared on her cheek whenever she went into the kitchen, or looked in Prim's old room. It seemed like everything in her life contained a memory, a loaded gun, or a trigger. Whenever it snowed, Katniss was reminded of the unknown wisdom that Prim had which was discovered when Gale was whipped. Just walking through the District made Katniss reminisce of the walks to school with Prim, where she would often tell Prim to 'tuck in her tail, little duck' before tickling her and making her laugh. Even the beautiful biscuits in Peeta's bakery reflected the beauty and delicate nature of Prim.

It wasn't all angst and sadness in Katniss' life. No more would she have to walk through the District, looking at the innocent children about to be offered up for slaughter. No more would she look at heartbroken parents wailing in the street, crying over the loss of their child. No more would she see bones through clothes, malnourished faces, starving children. This had all ended with the Games, and every day remembering that she had helped to cause this positive change of events shined a light on her grief filled life.

Meeting with Haymitch also gave her hope. He had recently moved to the Capitol to have a new fancy job which probably involved doing very little and going to lots of parties. He claimed this was the reason his drinking problem had decreased, but he was fooling no-one. Katniss and Peeta both knew that it was because he got to spend more time with Effie, and even though his intentions were unclear, it didn't matter. He was finally happy again, and after all the trauma of the Games he deserved it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Prim_

_I miss you. I miss your cute smiles that you show when you think no-one is looking. I miss plaiting your blonde hair every night before bed, braiding in flowers I'd collected in the meadow during the day. I miss you laughing and squealing when we played during the summer months. I miss telling you to tuck in your tail, little duck._

_Please come back. The world is but a play without a story with you not here._

_I love you forever Prim_

_Katniss_

Only one tear escaped Katniss' eye as she folded the letter. As she went to deliver it in her usual way, she found herself only staining the page with teardrops a few times, rather than the thick torrent that was more common. Overall, this week had been better than the last.

Haymitch had visited in the last week, with great hilarity. He had phoned their house and when Katniss answered he asked to talk straight away to Peeta, rather than having some idle chit-chat which would normally be very uncomfortable for the both of them. During the phone conversation, Katniss heard Peeta exclaiming things such as "Are you trying to kill her?" "She'll never look at you in the same way again" and Katniss' personal favourite "She could probably knock you out with her hair, so never mind dodging the razor heels". It sounded like Haymitch had a lady problem.

When Haymitch had hung up in despair after Peeta had had a laughing fit and Peeta had calmed down, Katniss asked what that was all about.

"Haymitch has been invited to a party with work and he has to bring a +1" Peeta said. "He was trying to ask me for dating advice, so I told him that forcing a relationship in a life-or-death situation for the benefit of Panem worked for me."

"What did he do after that?" Katniss asked.

"He hung up."

"Oh. Did he say who he was trying to court?"

"It sounds like Haymitch is smitten with our dear Effie Trinket, but he wouldn't say so directly." Peeta sighed empathetically. "I'm off to check the bakery stock, and I'll be back after dark. I love you." Peeta left for the bakery, and the room lost its bright demeanour as soon as he left. Fed up of the memories and darkness that hung over the house in the Victors' village, Katniss left and walked to the place their old house had been. At some point after the fighting, someone had re-built it, but it wasn't their house anymore. There were none of the same memories, there was no furniture, and it didn't look like home. Katniss technically still owned the place, but since the number of people still alive in District 12 after the war was shockingly low no-one had any need for it.

She soon returned to the Victors' Village after taking a short detour to Gale's family's old house. They had all left with Gale after the war, going off to support him in his new job (as they claimed) but they weren't fooling anyone. Gale made the sacrifice not to see Katniss again because of what happened to Prim, and his family respected that choice by following him. Anything that reminded Katniss of Gale made her well up, but as the old District had been re-built from ashes there was not much left there to remind her of him.

The only thing that reminded Katniss of Gale was when she went out hunting. She still kept her old bow in the same place, and followed the same tracks to the best animals. She would never set any traps, in memory of Prim, but other than that hunting was one of the only things that seemed untouched by the recent events.

As the light was still with them when Katniss reached her front door, she knew Peeta would still be out. However, as she pushed on the front door she found it unlocked. Alarm bells began to ring in her head, screaming 'Intruder!' Thoughts pounded in her mind, thoughts of President Snow, the Capitol, and District 13. She grabbed her Mockingjay bow that she kept by the door and raised it, her hands shaking. She trod carefully through the house, going into each room in turn and finding no-one, until at last she reached Prim's room. She carefully opened the door, heart pounding, and was faced with the one person she never expected to see again.

"Hello Katniss" said a voice.

"Mother?"

**A/N really sorry for the formatting issue yesterday, I think this was due to the way I uploaded it. Anyway, here it is now and I will try to upload a chapter every other day, but because of exams and being a huge procrastinator this may not happen- however I will try my best. Thank you to my reviewer, maybe a few more would be nice? **


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss stared in shock at the figure that was standing before her. A combination of war and age had not fared well for her mother and she was not the same women who had left Katniss just a few years previously. Katniss hardly recognised her.

"Hello Katniss" said the woman. Despite the troubles of Prim's death and moving away, Katniss' mother still had the odd awkwardness in her voice that was reserved only for her.

"Mother." Her tone was harsh, and unforgiving. In hindsight, Katniss regretted speaking in this way, but it had the desired effect.

"Right well, I only came here for some of Prim's old stuff. I best be off then, they require me back in District 4 by tomorrow. Give Peeta my regards." And with that the woman left.

Katniss noticed she had not taken any of Prim's stuff with her. Whether there were other intentions to her visit or not, Katniss did not know nor care. Her mother had left her for a second time, and although they kept up contact for society's sakes, their relationship was dead.

Peeta came in just as Katniss' mother left, and the look of confusion on his face was priceless. "What's going on?" asked Peeta, as Katniss hugged him with perhaps more gusto than intended. "My mother decided to pay a surprise visit" sung Katniss, skipping into the kitchen; her mood considerably lighter. "Hot chocolate and cake?"

"Yes please" replied Peeta. Ever since their first experience with the beverage on the train, the two had become obsessed with the drink. After the war, there was a shortage of supplies as vital manufacturing plants were restored, and their beloved hot chocolate was unavailable. During this time, Haymitch had made jokes about withdrawal symptoms until Peeta had reminded him of the times when alcohol was scarce in District 12 and Haymitch had become insufferable from withdrawal symptoms. They knew it was petty, but having hot chocolate and leftover cake from the bakery had become a weekly ritual in their lives. Although neither of them admitted it out loud, they both knew that without the comfort of the weekly hot chocolate, cake and conversation their happiness levels would severely decline.

Soon enough, Katniss and Peeta were sat in front of the fire with generous helpings of white chocolate and raspberry cake and large, steaming mugs of hot chocolate. This week the main topic of conversation was Peeta's bakery, as Katniss had initially clammed up at any mention of her mother's visit. Katniss listened with great interest as Peeta talked animatedly about his plans for the bakery, and how every time a well-fed, nourished, loved child came into the bakery asking for a loaf of bread his heart would sing. That was one thing Katniss and Peeta shared- a love for seeing children happy. The memories of starving children abandoned on the street because their parents couldn't afford to feed them were all too fresh in their minds, and so frequently Katniss would wander through District 12 keeping a watchful eye out for any less fortunate children. In the past few years, there had been hardly any abandoned children, but there were some. It tended to be children of the parents who had escaped into District 13 who were left, as their parents had fallen ill from diseases as a side-effect of being malnourished for months.

It also made Katniss' heart sing to see the District full of people once again. After the war, when the citizens who escaped to District 13 had moved back, the whole District was practically empty. However, there was a large influx of people who had moved from the Capitol now living in the District. After all the dirty information regarding President Snow had come to light, many people in the Capitol felt guilty for the Games and so moved into the Districts. In particular, many people moved to District 12- Katniss thought this was because people felt sorry for the way her and Peeta had been treated by the Capitol, but she wasn't sure. Even now, after the many years since the war, you could still recognise the people of the Capitol. Painted skin, wild hair colours and elaborate clothes had all either faded or been discarded, but there was a clear discrimination against the Capitol people.

This in particular angered Katniss and Peeta. After being oppressed their whole lives, people of the Districts were now choosing to mistreat the Capitol citizens because of the way their leaders chose to act. Despite the repentance and selflessness shown by the Capitol people, for actions they themselves did not commit, District citizens were still not giving them the social justice they deserved. Capitol children were being laughed at in school. Capitol families were being given the worst tables in restaurants and for a short while Capitol people were not allowed to go to council meetings. This particular legislation was destroyed by Katniss and Peeta when they stormed a council meeting together and broke down the doors, allowing floods of Capitol people in. Katniss and Peeta officially did not have any political standing, but their opinion was as good as law in council meetings. Whether it was intimidation because of their social standing in the Capitol, or reparations for the ill-treatment of their lives, Katniss and Peeta didn't know, but they kind of liked having a position of power without having to attend all the boring meetings. They felt as if they had earned it.


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Prim,_

_Mother visited. It didn't go well.I think we've both accepted now that we're separate people and that maybe one day we will be able to reconcile our differences, but for the moment keeping our distance is for the better. _

_You would love it here in District 12 now. All the flowers are out in the meadow, spring is giving way to summer, and the general atmosphere is amazing. All around the district are smiling children, with smiling parents and just general happiness. I think it was the sudden change in the weather after this particularly harsh winter that has caused the change in mood. Whatever caused it, I'm not complaining. My heart bursts out of my chest with joy every time I see a child pick a daisy and braid it into a crown, or I see the women in the District wearing cute summery dresses made out of gingham or a flowery print. _

_I'm happy Prim. I'm happy for the first time in what seems like an eternity, and I just wish you were here to be happy with me._

_I love you forever Prim,_

_Katniss_

Despite the letter bursting with joy that was sitting folded on her lap, Katniss felt on edge. She was with Peeta travelling to visit Effie and Haymitch in the Capitol for Haymitch's birthday, which meant that for the first time her weekly letter to Prim ritual had been disrupted. Peeta had tried to console her on the matter, saying that Prim wouldn't mind and that she could do it the minute they got back. Katniss loved that about Peeta. Peeta didn't try to put her mind at rest by saying that it didn't matter, or that Haymitch's birthday took priority, because he knew how much writing to Prim meant to Katniss. Peeta was still too good for Katniss, a fact that Katniss had reminded him of many times.

Katniss and Peeta had only just stepped off the train that had just pulled into the Capitol station when Effie pulled them both into a tight embrace. Her hair was as extravagant as ever, this time dyed a deep cherry red. Just one look into Katniss' eyes was enough to bring Effie to tears, as the joy that Katniss had felt when writing the letter to Prim had returned leaving Katniss in the highest of spirits. Effie could not remember a time that she had ever seen Katniss so exalted, and so she swept Katniss into another tight hug.

Effie had contacted them a few weeks ago with the news that her and Haymitch were dating, and had moved in together. This was initially met with raised eyebrows and smirks from the both of them, but they were both really happy for the pair of them. War and the Games had left scars (mentally and physically) on the both of them, and so for them to have found love was the best thing to have happened. It also meant that Katniss and Peeta could not make fun of the awkward sexual tension and between them.

On the way back to Effie and Haymitch's house Peeta and Effie exchanged pleasantries, while Katniss' mind wandered to concentrating on the changing Capitol. They were riding in Effie's car, and from the back seat window she could see the ongoing process of restoring the Capitol from the aftermath of the war. All the major building work had been done in the first few years after the war, and now it was just making subtle changes to the dynamics of the city to erase any traces that President Snow was ever in charge. The new government in charge of Panem had elected that it would be an insult to the memories of anyone lost in the War to keep the same political infrastructure as before, and so democratic elections were held regularly to decide on major decisions and to elect Presidents. Somehow, this meant that anything relating to President Snow had to be either destroyed or sent far away. Katniss didn't quite understand this, but her knowledge of politics was confined to the occasional council meeting in the District and upholding social justice.

A/N so there is another chapter! Please let me know what you think, and any ideas for upcoming chapters would be welcomed! I have a ridiculous amount of exams next week, so I will be probably trying to revise for them but I will try to post another chapter on monday and then perhaps another on wednesday. Thank you for reading! Review please? xx


	5. Chapter 5

When they arrived at Effie and Haymitch's house, Peeta gave Katniss a look that seemed to convey the message "don't you dare make me do all the talking like you did just then or no hot chocolate I don't care if you're the Mockingjay" in a few seconds of eye contacts and a sigh. It had been funny to watch Peeta struggle to think of topics to keep Effie entertained with on the car journey, as Effie had the horrible mix of not being able to deal with uncomfortable silences but the amazing ability to burn through topics at immeasurable pace. They walked through the door to Haymitch being his usual drunk but witty self, greeting them with the line of "Ah, my two favourite victors have arrived! Oh and Katniss is here too". Year of dealing with Haymitch had given them a filter for Haymitch's dry sense of humour, so Katniss rolled her eyes before giving him a hug.

"Drinks anyone? Tea, coffee or hot chocolate? No point offering you any alcohol, Haymitch has probably already drunk it all" Effie sung as she strode into the kitchen. Haymitch still drank vast quantities of liquor a week, but his drinking habits had reduced dramatically since courting Effie. "Hot chocolate for the both of us I think, please Effie" replied Peeta, reading Katniss' mind.

Soon they were all sat down in their spacious living room, with a rapidly diminishing pile of Peeta's iced biscuits on a plate in the middle. Katniss kept to her word as such, and participated in the conversation animatedly, describing in detail the beauty and happiness of District 12 for Haymitch. Effie suggested they take a visit soon, before the flowers go, but Katniss noticed Haymitch changed the subject subtly before the matter was discussed further. She made a mental note to ask him about it before the trip was up.

"So how is the bakery going? Any exciting plans?" asked Effie, taking another delicious biscuit.  
"It's going great actually" replied Peeta. "I was actually thinking of expanding it into a café soon, with seats and drink and the like. It more of an idea at the moment, I haven't thought about any of the technicalities yet". This was news to Katniss. While she was not expecting such a big idea, Katniss had noticed how happy the bakery was making Peeta. She knew that he would love to do something big with it, but she had never pictured a café making its way into the plans. Katniss had been thinking more on the scale of Peeta expanding into doing savoury pies.

"Ooh, wow! That would be brilliant Peeta! Ooh, we must visit when it is up and running; I can just picture it now! Oh how quaint!" Effie seemed to get very excited very quickly. "Come on, up! We need to go for a walk around the city or else we will just sit here for the rest of the afternoon."  
"I can't say I see a downside to that" murmured Haymitch under his breath.

After much encouragement from Effie, within half an hour they were all out the door setting off on a brisk walk into the city centre. Effie actually intended to visit the statue of Rue, and let Katniss pay her respects, and she hoped Katniss would forgive her for not asking her permission beforehand.

Before long they hand reached the statue. Katniss stood there is a state of shock, staring up at the marble image of Rue clutching a posy of flowers. They had chosen to embody her the way Peeta painted her in the Training room before the Quarter Quell, the picture of innocent beauty taken before its time. Effie whispered to Katniss that the rest of them were going to continue their walk, and that they were going to meet her back here. Katniss subconsciously took in this information, but she wasn't really listening. She was too focused on the small woman with Rue's hair and eyes that was also standing by the statue.

For a short while that felt like forever, Katniss just stood and wept. After a while, it became too much for her and she broke down, falling to her knees and sobbing out her heart. Rue was too much like Prim, her little sister that she could protect, and now she had lost both of them. Rue was too innocent, too kind, too fragile, to be tainted by the Capitol. At least she was taken while she was still pure, rather than surviving to be manipulated and tortured by President Snow. Katniss stood there and thought of a future where Rue survived, but the only outcomes seemed to be that the Capitol would find countless other ways to kill her.

After a while, the women that had been standing there previously came over and knelt down by Katniss. As soon as Katniss looked at her face, she knew who the woman was, and as soon as the woman looked at Katniss she knew who she was as well. They had seen each other before. The woman was Rue's mother.

She had Rue's eyes, hair and frail body. But she also seemed to have Rue's graceful air, as if she could take flight at any given moment. That might just be a common trait of District 11 however. The women took hold of Katniss' hand, and Katniss clung on to her hand in return. The two women sat there for what felt like to them an eternity, but in reality they were there for barely 5 minutes.

A/N apologies for not uploading yesterday, but I had a chinese exam today and needed to revise :/ . However, I hope this (slightly) longer chapter made up for it and that you all enjoyed it! I still need reviews! If I don't get any ideas or suggestions from you then I won't know what to write!

Hope you enjoyed it :) Amy xx


	6. Chapter 6

"Thank you" said the woman. "For taking care of her. You looked after her like I never could, and I will never be able to thank you enough". It was at this point the woman burst into tears again.  
"I'm just sorry I couldn't save her" whispered Katniss. She too was weeping again at this point. Passers-by were starting to look their way now, so they stood up and went and sat down on the bench, before passing round tissues. "Tell me about her. I want to know who she was, I got to spend so little time with her, and she touched my life in so many ways. Please" Katniss asked. The woman took a deep breath, and began to speak.

"She always had a smile on her face, and she could brighten up any room she walked into. Even as a baby she could cheer people up by smiling, or shaking her curly little head around to make the curls bounce. Little Rue always looked like she could burst into flight whenever she was working in the trees, and quite often during the harvest one of the other children would find her up a tree playing with the mockingjays, teaching them whistles and listening to them repeating them. She never got in trouble for it though, all she had to do was grin and people would let her off the hook. Oh, we used to joke that she could get away with murder with that smile! She was clever, too. Top of her class and always bringing home gold stickers, she had a little book that she stuck them in. Rue had the biggest heart; she was always kind to everyone, especially her siblings. Every day I have to look at their faces and know what great pain the Capitol caused them by taking away their favourite sister. And I can't do anything about it". It was at this point the woman's voice cracked and she had to look away to avoid crying.

For a while they just sat, the woman reminiscing the times with Rue, and Katniss trying to remember all that the woman had told her. She visualised Rue giving her siblings some of her sweets, or reading to them at night. She thought of Rue as a toddler, and she could imagine the cute ringlets that would bounce around on her head whenever she would smile with glee. Katniss could not comprehend how had it must be for the woman, not only to have lost a child but to have to live knowing how much pain the rest of her children feel. Not even losing Prim could compare to the pain that this woman felt.

"Did you ever get your winnings?" Katniss asked. "You know, on the Victory Tour, Peeta and I gave away 1 month of our winnings to your and Thresh's families as a token of our gratitude." The woman shook her head. "It doesn't surprise me. After a while our District lost our winnings as well."

The grand clock on the side of an even grander Capitol building struck 4 and the woman stood up. "Thank you again. If fortune allows our paths to cross again, I would like to invite you for a meal in District 11."  
"I would very much like that" said Katniss. The two women hugged again, and the woman left. Katniss stayed at the statue for a while longer, not so much thinking about the Rue that the woman described, but the Rue that might have been should she have survived the Games. Katniss hoped that she would have remained pure, untainted by the Capitol, unlike every other 'survivor' of the Games. She would have been like Peeta if he had not been taken by the Capitol in the war, self-aware of what was going on but not choosing to drown their problems in drugs or alcohol.

It was at this point that Effie, Haymitch and Peeta arrived from their walk. Katniss stood up and tightly hugged Effie again, taking her off guard. "Thank you" she whispered. Effie responded by pressing a trinket into Katniss' hand. It was a silver mockingjay pin, just like the original that Katniss owned, but with the words "The odds are never in our favour" engraved on them.

A/N Sorry for the shorter chapter, but I have had lots of exams this week! What do you think? Do you think Katniss and Rue's mother should meet again? Lwt me know! THAnk you very much to my reviewer, however a few more would be nice. Amy xx


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